


The Sleepover

by Skullharvester



Series: One-Shots (Ratchet & Clank) [5]
Category: Ratchet & Clank
Genre: M/M, October Prompt Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26854072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullharvester/pseuds/Skullharvester
Summary: After the events of All4One, Qwark invites Nefarious over for a slumber party.
Relationships: Captain Qwark/Dr. Nefarious, qwarkarious
Series: One-Shots (Ratchet & Clank) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120196
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	The Sleepover

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy and have fun! 
> 
> If you liked this tale, please drop me a kudos and/or a comment to let me know if you'd like to see more! 
> 
> Thank you, and have a wonderful night!

* * *

Dr. Nefarious wasn’t sure why he decided to add Captain Qwark of all people to his friend list on his personal social media blog, other than the fact that after being forced to team up with him, Ratchet the Lombax, and Clank the defective warbot, Qwark had sent him a friend request not long after that whole ordeal was over with. 

Initially, Nefarious believed Qwark was trying to not so subtly get into contact with him about stealing their rescue ship, but apparently the green spandex-wearing hero forgot all about that. 

No direct messages were exchanged, but once in a while, Qwark would click the Cool button on his posts. Sometimes, reluctantly, Nefarious would return the favor, but not too often since he didn’t want to encourage the man to keep spamming his timeline with photo after photo and chunk after chunk of unnecessary information about his daily activities.

Most of the images that Nefarious showed a modicum of admiration for were Qwark’s drawings. Nefarious liked to draw himself, but he was more of a concept artist and use his own artwork as blueprints for his inventions. Qwark’s thing was cartoons or comics drawn for the sake of passing time. Mostly they were about himself and his own exaggerated version of his life adventures, and recently he had begun to write a comic about their time as a ragtag team. 

To no one’s surprise, Qwark portrayed himself as the main character – something that made Nefarious roll his mechanical eyes with a faint sense of endearment over how silly his take on events were, yet Nefarious was caught off guard by how he was depicted in the story thus far. Although Qwark did emphasize Nefarious’ cantankerous attitude and body language, he was given full credit for everything he did to help out. 

Nefarious in one hand was annoyed that Qwark ignored his warning to speak of his deeds to no one, but in the other, there was something incredibly flattering about having a comic about himself that wasn’t humiliating. It might not have been professional quality, but Qwark’s art style had its childlike charm.

On the page of the latest comic sheet that was uploaded moments ago, Nefarious went so far as to leave a supportive comment. Of course, he had to make it a little backhanded just to show that he hadn’t gone soft, but overall, it was still unusually nice for him. Within seconds, a direct message from Qwark showed up for the first time in his inbox.

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: U busy today?**

Why was he asking? There had to be a malicious intent to the question. This might be a trick. He could be trying to lure the robotic doctor into some kind of trap, the way that Nefarious had with the Light-Eating Z’Grute. That would just be a cruel twist of fate. Hadn’t he already learned his lesson when the plan came back to bite him immediately, resulting in him having to work with his most hated foes in the first place?

No, Qwark was surely too stupid to fool him. At least, Nefarious was confident that was the case. Really, their respective egos were just about on par with one another.

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: That depends. Why?**

It took longer this time for Qwark to respond.

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: was wondering if u wanted 2 hang out**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: Yeah right.**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: im sirious**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: *Serious.**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: so, y/n?**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: Where?**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: my place?**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: Oh yeah let me just show up at the Galactic Rangers headquarters. Would you also like for me to put the handcuffs on myself?**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: woah it’s not that kind of sleepover**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: What???**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: i mean don’t get me wrong i’m glad we’re friends now, but isn’t this going a little fast??? i don’t even know wat 2 say…**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: First of all: We’re not friends. Secondly: I have standards. Finally: Sleepover???**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: 1: ouch. 2: double ouch. 3: yeah I got holo-vids and popcorn!**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: wait i guess robots can’t eat popcorn, can they?**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: well, at least there’s the holo-vids.**

That’s seriously what this was about? Qwark wanted to have a slumber party with his arch-nemesis? It sounded so ridiculous that, knowing Qwark, it had to be true.

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: You know what?**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: Yeah, sure.**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: Whatever.**

**Mechanical Mastermind Dr. Nefarious: I’ll come over.**

It _was_ a boring weekend for the doctor, anyway, and maybe – just maybe, he’d get an opportunity to smother the hero with his own pillow while he slept. Not the coolest way he ever tried to kill Qwark, but as long as he was the one to do it, he’d settle for that.

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: great!!! see you soon**

**Captain Copernicus L. Qwark: buddy :)**

“Eugh.” Nefarious shuddered as he read that final message. Shaking it off, he cried out for his robot butler. “LAWREEEEENCE!”

As if perpetually on standby, the rotund machine waddled into the room. “Yes, sir?”

“Pack an overnight bag for me. I’m going somewhere,” Nefarious explained.

Lawrence expressed only mild curiosity on his metallic face. “Do you have a new love interest that I’m not yet aware of?”

The thought, considering who he was going to spend time with, made the doctor shiver with disgust again. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“Hmm,” Lawrence hummed thoughtfully, then went over to the nearby closet to fetch a travel bag, stuffing it with the essentials that he could find scattered around his employer’s room. “Very well. Shall I be your chauffeur, as per usual?”

Nefarious got up from his desk, folding his arms and pacing around the room while brooding over his life choices. “Not this time, Lawrence.”

Now the doctor really was behaving strangely. He didn’t like to do much for himself, if it was a task he could assign to his butler. Did the doctor even _remember_ how to drive anymore?

With a shrug, the butler merely said, “If you insist, sir. Do be sure to call me if anything unfortunate happens.” He zipped up the travel bag, now that it thoroughly packed. “Not that I expect anything disastrous to occur, of course.” 

After waddling up to the taller, lankier robot, Lawrence held the strap of the bag out to him. Nefarious snatched it from his palm, then slung it over his shoulder. He peered down at his butler, waiting for the next remark he knew was coming.

“Safe travels, and give my regards to your new lady friend, sir.” Lawrence gave a wave of his fingers in goodbye to his boss.

“ _I’m not going to see a lady friend, Lawrence._ ”

“A gentleman this time, then? All the same: Tell him I said hello and best of luck.”

Nefarious scoffed, then spun on his heel and made his dramatic exit. Lawrence watched him go with a stoic expression, entwining his fingers together over his abdomen and playing with his thumbs idly while he pondered where his employer was going. Did he worry? Perhaps. 

Truth be told, not that he would ever admit this to Nefarious, that was the real reason he had a change of heart about leaving the doctor’s employ and moving onto greener pastures. On his way to the nearest job center after ditching Nefarious with the heroes and the Light-Eating Z’Grute, he couldn’t help but reflect on their past together. 

How old had Nefarious been when he built the butler? He was just a boy at the time and still an organic, or “squishy” as he’d taken to calling the fleshier beings of the galaxy after becoming a robot himself through a freak accident. 

Lawrence couldn’t recall when Nefarious had told him this, but not so long ago, when the doctor was in an oddly sentimental mood (he was prone to mood swings on occasion), he’d told Lawrence that: “Even after all of this time, I still consider you to be my greatest creation.”

At the time, Lawrence had replied, “I don’t doubt that, sir.” 

In that fateful moment when he decided to get in touch with the Galactic Rangers to procure a means of finding and rescuing Nefarious, he was thinking of that conversation, and wished that he’d taken the heartfelt compliment more seriously at the time. 

When all was said and done, Nefarious was still his creator, and if there could be no loyalty in that bond, then what _was_ sacred?

So, yes, he was a little worried about the doctor. If he wasn’t, then who else would be? But for now, he had to exert some confidence that Nefarious would be fine on his own. Hopefully.

–

Qwark was still scrolling through his social media feed while laying belly-down on his bed, legs kicking back and forth over the edge, when he heard a scratching noise at his window. He put down the phone, then got up and went to open it. “Nefarious! You’re here! How did you know this was my room?”

Grumbling something inaudible, the mechanical doctor clumsily climbed over the windowsill, and fell into Qwark’s bedroom. He got to his feet, threw his bag off to one side of the floor, and dusted himself off. “I’ve broken into your room before, you know,” he mumbled.

“What?”

“What?” Nefarious repeated, pretending he hadn’t said anything. He pushed Qwark aside and inspected the room, hands on his hips and tapping one foot. 

“What a dump. I can’t say I expected more from you.” He plopped down in one of the beanbag chairs, then looked over at Qwark when the man sat in the beanbag chair next to him.

“I guess next time, we’ll have the sleepover at _your_ place,” Qwark suggested with a grin. “Since it’s apparently so much better.”

“Implying there will be a next time,” retorted Nefarious sharply, leaning back into his chair.

“I’d like for there to be,” said Qwark, who leaned closer in Nefarious’ direction. “So, old friend –”

“We’re _not_ friends.”

“– what’s new? How’s the, uh… villain business been treating you?” It was only at that point when Qwark realized how awkward it was trying to relate to Nefarious.

In the past, it was hard to understand what drove him as a person because he was very geeky, and Qwark was more geared towards social activities. Now, Nefarious was a super villain, while he was a superhero. Their lifestyles were more night and day now than they ever were. Or were they?

“Pretty good, actually. I’ve got an interview coming up for the show “The Greater Evil”. I’m kind of nervous because they always have one or two questions that take the guest by surprise, and I can only wonder what they’re going to ask me.” Like Qwark, Nefarious’ favorite subject was himself, which explained why he let that confession slip without considering how personal it was.

Qwark didn’t expect such a down-to-earth response, but he had the feeling that if he pointed that out to Nefarious, the doctor would immediately shut down and quickly return to being excessively hostile. That’s why he decided to carry on the conversation as if such exchanges were normal for them.

“I’m happy for you, doctor!” The hero reached over and clapped him on the back encouragingly. “I know the feeling. My last live interview didn’t go over as smoothly as I would’ve liked –”

“For _you_ , it could’ve been worse,” interrupted Nefarious, waving a hand like he was shooing away Qwark’s words. “You handled it better than some of your other scandals in the past.”

The implication surprised the captain. “You watch my interviews?”

Nefarious’ jaw wobbled on its hinge as he found himself at a loss for a suitable explanation. “Eeeeh, of course I do! You’re my arch-nemesis! What kind of villain doesn’t keep tabs on their rivals?” He was filled with regret for even saying anything when he heard Qwark’s beanbag shuffling closer to his, until the chairs were pressed together side-by-side.

“Even my presidential speeches before I got thrown out of office?” Qwark asked with his hands drawn to his broad chest, his blue eyes practically glimmering like an animal begging to be patted on the head.

The robotic scientist sighed. “How do you think I got the idea for the Intergalactic Tool of Justice Award scam you fell for?”

“What did you think of the speech I did when I returned to just being the captain of the Galactic Rangers?”

“I…” Nefarious crossed his arms uncomfortably, turning his head away from the very eager hero until he thought of an answer that he could bring himself to say. “It was sickeningly sentimental,” was the most politely he would put it.

Although the grumpy scientist wouldn’t outright call his speech heartwarming, even Qwark could read between the lines here. “Dawww…”

The robot frowned. “Don’t you “daw” me! How dare you!” He scratched at the air threateningly with his metal claws, a bit like a cat.

“I could give you some pointers for your interview, if you’d like,” Qwark offered.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“C’moooon. You don’t have to credit me or anything. It’ll be just between you and me: Mono a mono.”

Don’t humor him, Nefarious begged himself, digging his claws into the beanbag chair he was sitting in. He’ll get that stupid, dopey look on his face and get all touchy-feely about the whole thing. You’ll regret this. Don’t do it –

“Fine.” Nefarious, why?

Within moments, Qwark was babbling at him about better posture, confident eye-contact, using a less confrontational tone of voice, and eventually had him standing in front of a full body mirror so that he could try to elaborate to Nefarious what the rest of the world saw just from his body language. Nefarious didn’t particularly think that much of the advice was helpful, given that a lot of it sounded like it was all fine and dandy for a hero, but not so befitting of a villain. 

Even so, despite being jerked around here and there for demonstrational purposes, he was still paying careful attention to what Qwark had to suggest. It couldn’t hurt to at least learn his enemy’s ways better, if only to find some method of using it against him in the future. That’s what he was telling himself, at least, because he couldn’t stand to admit that he was enjoying the attention.

“Alright, alright, I’ve had my fill of you putting your horrible squishy hands on me,” Nefarious said finally. In truth, he was having a bit of an existential crisis staring himself in the mirror with Qwark standing there behind him, cheerfully rambling about how he looked so much more friendly without the “scary old crone slouch” he was prone to. If Lawrence could see him now, he’d probably be ashamed.

Qwark chuckled and backed off, understanding that the doctor probably needed some time to get used to being treated like a pal. “Well, I just hope that any of that helps. Just send me a message before your interview airs, so I can tune in. I’ll be rooting for you.”

Nefarious doubted that, but the captain _did_ sound earnest. “Pah. As if I need your support. I’ve always been a self-reliant person.” He turned around to face Qwark, who was still slightly taller than him even when he was standing up straight. Somehow, Nefarious always thought _he_ was the taller one.

“Is that why you have a butler?” Qwark grinned playfully.

The doctor’s jaw clenched, and he ground it against the upper part of his mouth irritably. He refused to tell Qwark that the original purpose of Lawrence’s existence was for him to have a friend. He never had one as a child, and with his home life being an unhappy one, the loneliness had gotten unbearable.

“It’s handy having an assistant,” Nefarious grumbled.

“I’m only joking, of course,” Qwark replied, stopping for a moment to groom and admire himself in the mirror. 

While he was doing that, Nefarious was judging him silently, until he happened to spot among the photographs stuffed in the mirror’s frame by their edges a photo of the two of them that was taken on their fateful adventure together. 

He’d almost completely forgotten a picture of himself was taken in which Qwark had him in an affectionate headlock, giving him a noogie while the scientist uttered an awkward, hoarse “cheese” with the hero as the image was snapped. It was hard for him to decide how to feel, seeing that picture right beside photos of Qwark with his do-gooder friends.

In the reflection of the mirror, Nefarious spotted the premise for a less awkward topic. There was a box of crayons and a set of sketchpads laying on Qwark’s dresser at the wall behind them. “How’s that comic coming along?”

Qwark smiled at him, glad that he asked. “I’m almost done with the next page already! I noticed you’re an avid follower of my comic!”

“I’m a bit of an artist myself,” Nefarious mumbled, rubbing his hands together with a mild sense of bashfulness.

“You’re as good at drawing cool gadgets as you are at making them!” Qwark said honestly, which only made the doctor more flustered in a positive way. “Say, since I gave you some advice, would you mind helping me out? I’m better at drawing people than I am at props, so I was thinking you could show me how you do it.”

Why not? What was the harm in doing a few sketches with his high school bully? Okay, putting it like that made it feel surreal, but it comforted the doctor somewhat to think that this might just all be a weird dream induced by a faulty power cord that he was going to wake up from eventually, probably via a slap in the face from his butler if he started mumbling in his sleep fitfully again.

“Just try not to get jealous of my raw talent,” Nefarious said with a snarky inclination, going to drag the beanbag chairs over to the coffee table parked in front of the holovision while Qwark grabbed the art supplies and spread them out on the table.

Before they got started, Qwark turned on a holo-film that he figured Nefarious might appreciate. It was some old cheesy B-horror movie about a mad scientist that may have very well inspired Nefarious when he opted to become a bad guy.

“I didn’t even know you liked this sort of holo-film,” commented the scientist in Qwark’s room as he picked up a purple crayon and started his first sketch. He had expected the squishy to subject him to the films he starred in, but it was possible that might come later.

The green-clad hero shrugged, selecting a crayon himself from the variety that was spilled across the table’s surface. “They grew on me over the years, I guess. They’re not as scary as your usual horror film, and they’re actually kind of funny.”

“These films always resonated with me when I was younger, for some reason. I think I found a lot of the villains to be… relatable,” Nefarious commented in return, swapping out crayons for another color.

“Hah. Really?” Qwark smiled, briefly glancing up from his drawing.

Nefarious met is gaze. “Is it really so surprising?”

Come to think of it, the mad scientist in the film they were watching was also bullied in school and considered a social outcast in his backstory. It was the catalyst for why he created the giant blob creature – oh… Nefarious _did_ create those slime monsters called the Amoeboids that one time, didn’t he?

“In hindsight, I guess not,” Qwark said, finally seeing how the two added up, and usually he was terrible at basic math.

Both men reached for the bright green crayon laying at the center of the table, and their hands touched. Their eyes locked again. “I need that,” they said at the same time. They peered across the table to see what the other was drawing, and as was to be expected, they were each drawing themselves.

“Hey, Nefarious? I have an idea. Could I… see your paper?” Qwark asked.

“Why?” replied the doctor suspiciously.

“Just swap papers with me,” the bulkier man said.

Nefarious assumed this would be like the times when, unwillingly, he’d let Qwark copy his homework during their school days together, but he was curious to see where this was going. He handed his page over and received Qwark’s in return.

“Hey, what are you doing to my drawing?” Nefarious demanded when he saw Qwark beginning to draw all over it.

“You’ll see!”

Oh, yeah? Well, _two_ could play at _that_ game! The scientist started drawing on Qwark’s page with fervor, yet the hero seemed thrilled about this. The holo-film was already halfway over when they were finished, and Qwark was the first to present his part of the collaboration, grinning with pride as he showed off the piece. 

He’d drawn himself into the picture with his hand on Nefarious’ shoulder, and they were both having fun at the beach, wearing sunglasses and funny tourist outfits that Nefarious _swore_ he’d never be caught dead in.

Meanwhile, due to a misunderstanding of Qwark’s intentions, the altered drawing Nefarious held up showed the two of them in Nefarious’ old lab. Qwark’s drawing of himself giving a big grin and a thumbs up was strapped onto a metal slab, while Nefarious pulled the lever to activate some device that looked like it was about to zap the hero.

“Aw. Nostalgic for the old times, eh?” said Qwark as he admired his work, not picking up on the fact that the robot was trying to be mean-spirited with his take on the doodle. “As weird as it sounds, me too. Those were some of the best days of my career.”

Nefarious made an embarrassed expression, turning the paper in his hand back around to examine it more closely, trying to find the meaning that Qwark found in it. “Yeah… You could say that.” 

In a way, he was right. There was something fulfilling in playing the game of cat and mouse on the regular with Qwark back then. How times had changed.

Qwark offered the fun-in-the-sun drawing to the doctor, and in exchange, Nefarious handed over the doodle of himself and Qwark in the lab.

“Wanna do another drawing like that? I feel like it gets the creative energies going better if we play off each other’s work, y’know?” suggested Qwark.

The robot nodded slowly. “Sure.”

Nefarious never participated in a slumber party before. No one ever invited him over to their house. This was pretty fun, and he regretted that they never got to do this back when they were in school together. They might have become better friends from the get-go, although they might have not turned into the people they were today. 

As they spent the rest of the night doodling, chatting, and watching holo-films, Nefarious already found himself thinking about what he was going to do when he invited Qwark over to his place. He wondered if Qwark liked video games.


End file.
